The Danger of Oranges
by Whyte Board Marker
Summary: "Jackie had the skills of a ninja he deduced. She was the only woman (except Rose of course) that astonished him. Underestimating her did not do any good to the world. That woman could probably strangle Davros with her bare hands if given the chance." A caught by Jackie fic. Will the Doctor survive? 2nd in the Fruit Basket series but can be read independently.


**I don't own Doctor Who. No copyright infringement is intended.**

 **2nd in the Fruit Basket Series. Can be read as a one shot.**

* * *

A stream of come ejaculated out of Rose as her husband, the Doctor, relentlessly pounded into her. She trembled and screamed as he did; the Doctor had the foresight to soundproof her room for when she visited Jackie. It was sort of their honeymoon which would explain why he made her come with his mouth (one was just with her breasts), fingers and now his cock. Actually, it didn't explain anything. He was always this eager but tonight he was a lot more tender, until she ejaculated. That always got him to his baser instincts. His clumsy thrusts signalled his released, Rose groaned in tandem with his hoarse shout as his cool seed splashed in her.

He had given her a shot after their first encounter together, to prevent any accidents. It wasn't unwanted but it was just that their lifestyle was... unsafe to raise young ones. Plus they weren't even sure they were biologically compatible since the Doctor was sterile. But...as this body was specifically created for Rose, maybe there was the possibility that they would be able to conceive.

Reaching over to her nightstand, he located the pack of wet wipes and tended to Rose, then himself. She sighed as he brushed her folds, dripping with his come. She was now officially tired, after her complaints that the celebratory drink the priestess, from the planet Pollux, had given her after her and the Doctor's supposed union had her too restless for sleep. She was drifting off when he tapped her shoulder and offered her a glass of water. He always did after she ejaculated, to keep her hydrated he claimed. She was on to his plan, she squirted more when she drank fluids before sex. Another round then.

Rose handed him the glass after draining it and snuggled into his lightly haired chest. Her mother was long asleep after the Doctor confirmed (with his superior hearing) that she was snoring and sleep talking about Shepherd's pie. She wasn't even aware that her mother sleep talked but if the Doctor said so then it must be true. Jackie was her usual exuberant self when she found them on her couch after doing the grocery shopping. Thanks to the Doctor sensitive ears (delicious to nibble on according to Rose), they made themselves appropriate for public eyes after snogging rather enthusiastically with several items of clothing missing. Jackie didn't notice a thing which they were both glad for. They were very fond of this body of his and were not going to lose it from a legendary slap from his now mother-in-law.

Rose sighed contentedly on his chest and was quickly drifting off to sleep with the Doctor idly playing with her hair. He never spent the whole night with her but was there when she nodded off and when she woke up. He didn't need much rest, spending those hours with her in sleep. The time in between however were spent doing TARDIS maintenance, experiments, upgrading equipment or whatever else that tickled his fancy. Wanking was recently scratched off that list, thanks to regular sex initiated by either one of them. They were worse than teenagers, still working on christening a ship with infinite rooms.

Rose toyed with his chest hairs, slowing down as unconsciousness greeted her. The Doctor was near sleep too. He held her tighter against his naked skin, not resisting squeezing her bum playfully. Rose hummed lazily and threw a leg over him, her still wet centre touching his hip. Both were too tired to do anything about it, choosing to sleep in each other's arms.

* * *

The Doctor cursed colourfully in Gallifreyan as the holding for the bimetallic strip of the toaster rolled off the table. He had set out to make the perfect toast in the least time that was possible by this toaster's capability. After initial testing he deduced that he needed the heating element to be at seven point two degrees Celsius higher than what it currently was. It was the safest temperature to operate under without catching fire. He didn't look forward to getting slapped by Jackie in the morning for destruction of property. He bent under the table, stretching to get the tiny part back when he heard footsteps. He froze. Was he losing his hearing? He should have heard them since they started. They were too heavy to be Rose's so that meant they were...

"Why are you in my daughter's robe?"

A fuming Jackie Tyler stood in her own robe at the kitchen's entrance, her hands on her hips. The Doctor looked down at himself. Rose's pink fluffy robe reached him mid-thigh. His legs were spread making the front opened enough to almost showcase his manly bits (he was not wearing pants). The front gaped opened to expose his chest and stomach. He hurriedly tugged them closed and crossed his legs to cover himself. It probably did not do much but his dignity was still intact by his actions.

He watched her with wide eyes, trying to come up with a response that was not stupid or would get him a new regeneration (least he regenerate into a gangly giraffe or the likes). Possible half-truths were the best contenders but Jackie was smarter than that. He might as well tell her the truth but he didn't want to die! Rose was appreciative of this body, very appreciative thus making him fond of it too if it elicited such a reaction from her. They were still exploring all of his weak spots which were quite a lot (he liked it when she scratched his mole).

"Aren't you looking well rested Jackie!" He flung his arms wide opened, making the robe open down to his stomach again. She narrowed her eyes at him as he hurriedly tightened the belt. She moved into the kitchen.

"It's two in the morning you plonker! I wanted a glass of water." She rubbed at her right eye.

The Doctor rose from the chair to fetch a glass of tap water, trying to make her forget her question. He handed her the glass which she took with a mumbled thanks, downing it quickly. She set the glass on the table with a heavy thunk, shaking the loose pieces of the toaster.

"Don't think I am going to forget you are in my daughter's robe you randy alien!" She shouted at him.

The Doctor winced. How did she know he was randy? The room was soundproofed! One could not hear the sounds emanating from their room however, those inside would not be thus inhibited. It was a revolutionary invention if he did say so himself. He did it when she was at Bev's while Rose kept an eye out for her return. He was quite proud of his work and revelled in the feeling that he was a boy (well man) sneaking into her room to spend the night. He came through the window at the fire escape to enter Rose's room. Then they usually shagged the night away. That was that moment the door to Rose's room opened. Dread filled the Doctor. A bleary eyed Rose stepped out dressed in his shirt, two buttons holding it together beneath her breasts. As she moved, her bright blue frilly knickers (which he adored taking off) were peeking out, the rest of his Oxford that acted as a revealing slit.

"I heard shouting. Is everything alright Doctor?" She yawned.

Only when her vision focused and she saw her mother with a furious expression on her face, she squeaked and ran back into the room, shutting the door.

"Oh no you don't missy!"

Jackie marched to the door and ripped it opened, exposing a terrified Rose. Grabbing Rose's arm, she dragged her into the kitchen to stand next to the Doctor. Rose met his eyes, her own filled with fear. Here was the woman who had faced the Dalek emperor and his army with unwavering courage. Now she was cowering in genuine fright. This made him more distressed since the outcome did not look well. They both turned to face Jackie who was fuming, silently for the time being.

The Doctor took Rose's right hand in his left, they would face this fearsome beast together. Rose gently squeezed his hand, he returned it, hoping it would offer some measure of comfort. Jackie looked her daughter in the eye, Rose did not shrink back but stood proudly. When her eyes reached the Doctor's however, he could feel the fury radiating out from her eyes into his very soul. This was not good. Not good at all. He held his ground just as his wife did, he had to be strong for her if not for himself.

"Would either one of you explain why you are wearing each other's clothing?" Jackie was shooting lasers out of her eyes at this point.

"The answer better not be any baby making taking place under my roof!"

The Doctor audibly gulped and turned to Rose. She was panicking, very fidgety pulling her, well his, shirt down. Rose answered first.

"We're married mum. It's our wedding night." Rose bit her lip, awaiting a scathing response.

Jackie's jaw literally dropped. He could hear her mouthing the words 'married' and 'wedding night' to herself thanks to his superior hearing.

She relaxed but not into a level that the Doctor considered safe. She was still a hazardous being. Extreme caution was still needed.

"Was it on Earth in this time?" Jackie asked.

"Erm..." The Doctor scratched the back of his head. "Not quite."

Jackie gestured at him to elaborate his response.

"We're married according to Polluxian rites half a million years into the future."

It wasn't even officially recognized in Pollux since they merrily skipped the paperwork part, anxiously awaiting their ceremonial shag in the TARDIS. He barely managed to dodge the orange that flew at his head. Where did she get an orange? He quickly scanned the room and found a basket of the potential missiles at Jackie's elbow.

"You had an alien wedding?! Then it's not a wedding I recognise!" She shrieked, chuckling another orange that hit him in the stomach.

Rose rubbed the impact site, apologies in her eyes. He smiled at her, ducking to kiss her. She had no reason to apologise, it was a spur of the moment decision to go to the wedding temple that was conveniently empty at the time. It was not a smart move to kiss her daughter in front of her since Jackie hit him in the head this time. He staggered backwards at the sheer force of the blow, impressed with her direct throw. He was clearly not doing well in the not-angering-his-mother-in-law-anymore plan.

"Stop it mum!" Rose begged. "I love him!"

Jackie lowered her hand that held another orange. The Doctor eyed it nervously, it looked to be the biggest one yet. She looked at her daughter, her expression softening. He breathed a sigh of relief. Rose brought their hands together and clasped his hand tightly, he did the same. Jackie looked at their hands and sniffed, her eyes watery.

"I've lost you haven't I?"

Rose broke their hold and walked towards her mother, capturing her in a hug.

"You haven't lost me mum. I'll always be your little girl." Jackie sniffed even louder. "Plus we'll visit. Even more than we normally do."

The Doctor's eyebrows raised to his hairline. What was Rose doing? He met her eyes with beseeched him to go along with whatever she said. As long as it kept him safe from the oranges.

"Uh yes! We'll visit more!" He nodded vigourously. "How does once a week sound?"

"Better than once every two months you wanker!" It looked like the shrieking was reserved for him.

"Not much of a wanker anymore thank you very much. Ow!"

That gave him an orange to his nose which he checked for any injury save his pride. He admitted he looked for that one. Her accuracy was astonishing, she bested any fast bowler in a cricket team. The speed at which those oranges were flying at him! He watched Rose take her mother's hands in her own, her brown eyes sparkling with unshod tears.

"Mum. I need you to accept that the Doctor is the only one for me. It's like you and dad yeah? There isn't anyone else. There never will be."

Jackie broke into sobs and squeezed her daughter into an embrace, her own blue eyes softening at him. He breathed a sigh of relief, letting the two women come to an emotional agreement. Jackie let her daughter go after two minutes and twelve seconds (he was counting) and smoothed her hands over Rose's shoulders.

"I hope you two are using protection. I'm too young to be a grandmother."

"Mum!"

Rose's face was the colour of a sun ripened tomato while the Doctor spluttered like a flat tire trying to convey a coherent sentence.

"We're taken care of Jackie," he said when he regained the use of his voice. Rose was still profusely blushing, hiding her face with her hands.

"We don't want any...accidents. Not that they would be unwelcomed! It's just that we do get in situations that are erm...not quite safe for a baby."

Jackie quirked her eyebrow at them both. "You better not plan on making me a grandmother. I'm too young for that." She wagged her finger at both of them.

Rose furrowed her brows. "But you're forty five."

"Thirty nine," Jackie corrected. "Don't think I ignored the changes you did in Rose's room."

The Doctor's was startled. How did she know? It wasn't an obvious change save the soundproofing. He just lined the walls with the material that absorbed unto wherever it was placed. Jackie had the skills of a ninja he deduced. She was the only woman (except Rose of course) that astonished him. Underestimating her did not do any good to the world. That woman could probably strangle Davros with her bare hands if given the chance. How he would love to see that fight!

"What are you talking about?" He asked, playing the innocent party.

"Rose is rather loud."

Rose gasped in shock, quickly making her way back to his side and held his arm. She turned and buried her face in his chest. He could feel the heat of her face. He took his free hand and cradled her head to him. The situation was...unpredictable right now.

"I would have heard you too shagging your merry way if you didn't do anything. The walls are very thin."

She gave him a look that simple meant to confirm or deny her observations. He swallowed. He was doing an awful lot of swallowing during this conversation. This woman can make him regenerate from death by oranges with the wrong answer. She already knew something was done so to lie to her would be begging for death.

"I soundproofed her room."

He watched Jackie simple nodded, he confirmed her speculations.

"Thank you for telling me the truth."

He breathed a sigh of relief that was short-lived until she clapped her hands together.

"Right. No more shagging in my house-"

"Flat actually," he corrected.

"Technicalities," she scoffed. "Go shag in that box of yours. Not under my roof."

The Doctor opened his mouth to interject again but she shushed him. He ate the words he wanted to say since he planned on living. He gave her a nod to agree with her stipulations and she gave a small smile. The atmosphere was less tense now, like a storm that was evaporating. The argument or whatever they actually had was over, now that ground rules were set. He was going to miss corrupting Rose in her childhood bed (or she corrupting him most likely). At least they had a waterproof king sized bed in his room in the TARDIS to do their thing.

Rose peeked out from their embrace to see her mother smiling. She smiled back and let go of their embrace to hold her mother instead. Together they laughed, making him chuckle too. It was peaceful to be on good terms with his mother-in-law he decided, knowing the woman can change into a fire breathing dragon in a split second. Jackie released her daughter but still held her hand.

"Let's make you a cuppa darling before we go back to bed."

"Ooh! Make one for me too Jackie. You make the best tea in the galaxy!" The Doctor proclaimed with his arms outstretched.

Jackie blushed. "You sweet talker you." She moved closer to him to get the kettle.

"While we're complimenting each other, thank you for sending Rose to gymnastics lessons when she was younger. Did you know she's still very flexible?"

Her fist was more deadly than any citrus ever wielded. The resulting black eye remained for two weeks despite his superior biology


End file.
